Iftar vs. Cinco de Mayo

On June 8, we joined our teammates at their house for a special dinner.  Two sisters (and their families) had invited both of our families to break the daily fast of Ramadan (called Iftar) with them.  One of the sisters cooked for FIVE hours at our teammates' house, and then she left to change clothes, get her family, and go gather dishes with her sister.

They brought back plates, bowls, glasses, serving platters, etc for the evening meal.

The ladies dished up bowl after bowl of goodness, and Kylie, Karis and I would try to find places for all of it on the plastic table cloth laid out on the floor.  It was nearly impossible.

We finally resorted to putting stuff on the kids “table.”

This is what the "adult table" looked like when we got started.  Dolma, salad, sweet rice with raisins and almonds, olives, yogurt water, and orange juice

Doug and our male teammate sat in the front room with the men, talking.  All the other kids entertained themselves with different things.  But what surprised me was that when we heard the mosque’s call to prayer and we knew the time of iftar had come, no one started eating.

Basically, if the women weren’t ready, it didn’t matter if you were hungry or not, no eating was happening.

Here are the sisters in the kitchen putting everything into small bowls so that each dish is accessible for each person on the table. 

They don't do a lot of "passing around."  You kind of eat what's just in front of you, so you want to make sure it's ALL in front of you.

The table continued to fill. Chicken, beef, goat, rice, soup, okra, bread, dates....

(Most people here break fast with three dates first.  This tradition stems from the belief that this is how Muhammed broke his fast.)

I didn't take a picture at the table's fullest (sorry), because we immediately started moving bowls over to the "kids' table," so we'd have a little breathing room.

 

I took this when we started putting things on the kids' table 

And this is the view in front of my place setting!

We asked if we could bless the meal; they agreed, and then they all broke fast with three dates.  After that, it was every man for himself.  Hands were flying everywhere reaching for food. 

It was so delicious!  I don’t know how they were going to eat breakfast around 2am, because I knew I would be full for the entire next day.

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As much fun as visiting at the table was, it was soon time to clean up.  All the older kids helped get everything in the kitchen, and then the two national ladies kicked them out of the kitchen so we could get down to business. 

I washed dishes for 3 hours while they put food all kinds of places.  They were splitting it between families, trying to find containers, drying dishes I had washed, separating out which dishes were whose, and re-packing the dishes in boxes and containers.. 

When those ladies left at 11pm, that kitchen was spotless!  I was pretty amazed, and I’m kicking myself for not taking a picture of all the dishes stacked on the counter to show you.  It reminded me of the kitchen scene near the beginning of Disney's “The Sword in the Stone,” with tall towers of dishes, barely standing up straight.

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As a comparison, this is how I did Cinco de Mayo at our house this year.

Plastic plates! small bowls of salsa, small bowls of cheese, two bowls of chips, and two bowls of taco meat. 

The taco soup, spanish rice, pinto beans, yogurt, guacamole, cheese, salsa, and basically everything had to be passed around.

It was delicious, and clean up was SO much easier, but both events were full of fun and making memories.

Thirty Days

Government schools finished May 8, but some private schools continued through June.  Thankfully, the school Karis and Caleb attended ended on May 31^st. 

The 30 days of Ramadan started the night of May 16^th,



and since kids were still going to school, things got a little tricky.  Some schools started going half-days because kids and teachers are too tired from being up all night.  Karis and Caleb’s school didn’t change anything, but the teenagers who were fasting made the cafeteria very empty.  Karis and Caleb felt bad eating in front of their friends, so they skipped lunch and were always hungry when they came home.

Some kids don’t fast.  And some adults don’t fast.  In fact, some restaurants are open during the day during Ramadan, but since it’s illegal to eat in public, the restaurants have to put up large curtains in front of their windows so the patrons can’t be seen.

There’s always a way around every rule ;)  As I've said before, there is a section of town where people of different religions live, and those restaurants remain open all through Ramadan, and they don’t put up curtains.

Food is always an interesting topic during Ramadan. 

One of our favorite restaurants stopped functioning completely during Ramadan. The owners gutted it and re-modeled.  Doug and I went to try a new restaurant one night, and there was a sign on the door that said they would be closed for the whole month of Ramadan. 

Other restaurants we tried that night were all buffet for about $25.  I think they know women get tired of cooking tons of food each night, so they offer a nice solution, and people take them up on the offer.

We can't decide if restaurants are losing money during these 30 days or keeping their income about the same because their patrons at night double.

Even a beauty shop that I have gone to twice gutted and re-modeled the interior during Ramadan.  I guess they figure if most people are sleeping during the day, why stay open for non-appointments.

Shopping at the mall at night during Ramadan should be an Olympic sport. 

We were trying to get some short-sleeved shirts to wear when we left the country for our conference, and it was crazy. 

Black Friday crazy.  

Here’s Doug standing in line, waiting to pay.

 

During Ramadan, I love the peacefulness of the city in the early mornings and from 7pm to about 8pm.  Everything is so quiet.  Everyone is home with their families, and it feels like a great time to just let out a sigh.

However, this occurred at 2am one morning.

 

A soccer ball from a game on the street came over our wall and hit our kitchen window. 

It woke me, and I didn’t want kids climbing over our walls to get their soccer ball, so I went out and threw it back so they could continue their game. 

Sigh!

While You Were Sleeping

There was a "need" at our house four days after Ramadan ended, so I went to see if I could go buy said "need" in our neighborhood.

Nope.  Nope.  Nope.  I tried three little stores, and I came up empty.

So I kept walking.  I decided to go to a grocery store that's a little larger, about a mile from our house.

However, I was feeling strange, and I couldn't put my finger on the problem.

And then it hit me.

There were no people.

Anywhere.

It was about 112 degrees.

When Ramadan began, temperatures during the day hadn't reached 100 degrees yet.

But while they were sleeping through their days, they missed this rising heat.

It seemed to me that even though their lives were supposed to start again during the day after Ramadan, they couldn't bring themselves to face this new reality of heat.

Of course, we hadn't been sleeping through our days, so this was nothing new, but all of a sudden, I felt hotter and more tired than usual because I was alone.

My thoughts were saying, "I'm the only idiot out here.  It's really hot.  I deserve a reward."

So, along with said "need," I bought myself ice cream on a stick and brought home 5 others for my family, which didn't even melt - scary to think what products are in it to keep it from melting 😟

AND I got a blister on my foot because I didn't know I'd be walking over two miles when I put on my flip flops.

Summer is not looking too promising.

Maybe I'll hunker down during the daylight hours, too.

I don't like what happened to the temperatures while they were sleeping.

Snapshots of Ramadan

 The sun was setting.  People were rushing to get home.

 

Then, while everyone was breaking fast, we went to the mall to the food court to see if anything was open.

Abandoned coffee shop.

Abandoned. 

Abandoned.

Abandoned and very trusting, I might add.

I might also add, that it's not just this time when the streets are empty.  During the day, they are empty, too.  

After that 3ish am call to prayer, there is not a lot of activity in the streets until 4pm ish.

By the way, this is a GREAT time to learn to drive in a new country!

However, when the sun sets...

Party in the streets.  

This was taken at approximately 3am.  The kids were popping fireworks and making so much noise, that I went on the roof to see what all the excitement was about.

Nothing really.  Just another night of Ramadan.

Men, drinking tea and playing games down at the corner about 1am.

Kids were just sitting outside my gate as I walked up around midnight.

One night we invited a local friend to a restaurant for dinner.  She made a reservation for us and told us that they would allow us to start eating before the set time.

She misunderstood.

We were seated, but we had to wait 45 minutes before we could eat.  In the meantime, the waiters were filling up everyone's table with food and drink.

And when I say filling it up, I mean FILLING IT UP!

These were the appetizers.

Believe it or not, we never said a word about what we wanted.

  

We never even ordered.

  

This is the common fare for everyone who comes in during Ramadan.

Crazy, right?

Awesome crazy!

It was like being on a cruise and ordering every appetizer and entree they have on the menu and the waiters don't even bat an eye.

We made it through another Ramadan, and we were more prepared this year.

Last year, everything was new.

The day before it started.

Learning that life doesn't happen during the day.

Learning about the night life.

And participating in my first "end of Ramadan" party. 

Here are the kids dressed for Eid al-Fitr.  It's the first day after Ramadan is over, and we visit neighbors and friends. 

The conversations were better this year.  Our neighbors know us a little better, and we know how to say things a little better.

It's all a process.

Where are all the people?

The evening of May 27 was the beginning of Ramadan this year.

This is a type of calendar the people here follow to know when the 5 prayer times are scheduled and when they can eat.  

You will see on the first day (read right to left), they eat at 3:06am, then have prayers at 3:21am and so on.  

They broke their first day's fast at 7:17pm, right at sunset.

I have been in a home and a restaurant before, watching them count down the minutes.  It's a serious thing.

This is what my neighborhood looks like when everyone is inside breaking fast with their families.

This fruit stand owner just covered their fruit, left it outside, and went to eat.

In the background, you can see Doug and Caleb walking.  We were on our way to catch a taxi.  A few places cater to ex-pats, and so they remain open during this time.

A few people decided to break their fast at this restaurant, which is down the street from us.

Even the roads were empty.  

For a city of 2.2 million, during this time of the day during Ramadan, it can feel like a ghost town.

Shortly after this, the people that have been resting all day will start a LONG night of loud activities.  Shopping, visiting friends, hanging out, eating ice cream, driving around...you name it.

THAT'S when you'll see all the people!

Final Photo Session of the Season

We visited one more house before noon.  After that, neighborhood families ate together, and then spent the rest of the day visiting family or...graveyards.

I was told that for a couple of days at the end of Ramazan, some nationals visit cemeteries.  I didn't get the full story, but I'm assuming it's to pray for relatives.

By the way, I know I have been saying "Ramazan" instead of "Ramadan," but they are they same thing.  "Ramazan" is just how our people say it in their language.

This last house had a LOT of relatives.  In fact, the lady who lives here wasn't even here at the time.  These were all of her daughters, nieces, and granddaughters.

And they were a photo-taking group!

This is just a small example of the amount of photo-taking that went on.

When we were all good and hot and seated in the sun/shade, the hostesses started really feeling bad because we were sweating so much.

The men were in an outside room with a swamp cooler.

One brave lady leaned in the men's room and asked if the guests (we ladies) could come in.

The men said, "Yes."

I went to the back of the room where Doug and Caleb were seated, but I only stayed about 2 minutes.  I realized quickly that I needed to sit at the front of the room, near the door, with the rest of the ladies.

Besides the Americans, four or 5 of the national ladies joined us in the room as well.

It was a fun, lively time, and we had quite the conversation about how much things cost us.

They were horrified when they found out how much we spent on "this" or "that," specifically the amount we paid to the tailors for the outfits we were wearing.  I think it's hard for them to understand that we Americans don't get the same rates or prices for things that they do.

It's very common to talk about money matters publicly, and I've repeatedly been told I pay too much rent.

First of all, rent is way lower than I would be paying in America, and secondly, it would have been very difficult to bargain a rent price the first week in the country when we knew no language.

Anyway, they started getting food ready for their family, and we knew it was time to leave.

Our two American families went our separate ways to eat lunch at our own houses.

It was such a full and rewarding day.  What a blessing to be invited into so many homes and meet so many people.  And even though it was the only day we got to celebrate the end of Ramazan, because the other two days they spend with family, it was well worth it.

Caleb went home with pockets of chocolates.

Most everyone had eaten so many snacks throughout the day that they weren't hungry, and I didn't have to cook lunch.

And after a long Ramazan season, many late nights in the bazaar, good conversations with neighbors, and our final hoorah, I took a much-needed nap.

Do You Suffer from Separation Anxiety?

The next two houses were pretty close to each other.  I pass by them daily, but I didn't know who lived there.

I was told that the men in these houses were VERY well-respected in our neighborhood.

These were good introductions for Doug.

However, I never saw what they looked like.

When we arrived at each one, this is what happened.

Women to the left.

Men to the right.

[Sorry for the awkward photos.  I normally always have you on my mind when I'm out and about because I'm always writing a story for you in my head.  The hard part is that I always want pictures to go with the story, and sometimes that is not possible. 

This one was snapped quickly as I stayed behind, trying to be the last one to take off my shoes.]

We walked into a small sitting room in which 15 women were already sitting. 

They all stood, and YES, I kissed each one in greeting several times.

When we finally sat down, we were offered chocolates and sodas.

Conversation started slowly because I didn't know any of them, and my friend Jennifer* had only met a few.

We ended up visiting with 3 or 4 ladies around us, until we started asking how everyone was related, and then it brought everyone into the conversation.

I really need to work on my language words for family members.  It's very confusing to me.

The ladies at this house were much more subdued, but it could also be because we didn't know them well.  The matriarch had 5 of her daughters in the room (all grown), plus nieces and grandchildren, and it was relatively quiet.

At one of the houses when we were told the men were ready to leave, we said we weren't ready, but I don't think it was this house.

Doug, however, said they had some interesting spiritual conversations at this house and the next. 

It's always good when you can hear personal stories about what they believe instead of getting information solely from a book.

Two more houses left...how sad, right?  The day of visiting is almost over :(

This is Not My Favorite Outfit

Onward to house number 4.

We walked to the house next to the chicken dukan, next to our house.  It's where the brother of our landlord lives with his wife and three kids, plus our landlord's sister, and the two boys she has taken in.  The two ladies that live there were the ones that came to greet me at my house at 7:30am (and three blog posts ago).   Our landlord was over there this morning, too, visiting, but his wife and son were not with him.

I really like this family.

They only had a few visitors when we arrived.

But, as you can see, even our shoes help fill up a courtyard :)

We were offered chocolates, sunflower seeds, and orange juice.

(I'm related to a few kids whose pockets were getting pretty full of chocolate.)  I was not in the least bit jealous of them.  Chocolate in your pocket when the temps are climbing over 100 degrees, is not my idea of a "treat."

We had a good visit, did a lot of laughing with the ladies and took pictures. Our four American tween/teenage girls were on the opposite wall, but they got in a few of the pictures too.

I did; however, get this picture, and it offers some detail about the culture.

Men and boys sit on couches, if there are any present.  If there is room, and the women happen to be included in the same room, like House number 3, women are invited to sit on the couch.

However, most of the time, women sit on the floor.


In fact, I have nice callouses on my ankles because of it. 


I think I've told you about this outfit I'm wearing, right?

The sleeves are long and drag the ground; therefore, as part of the style, they are tied behind the back in a low knot.

What this means is that every time I try to get up, my backside gets caught in my sleeves.  I have to re-situate myself, and then I end up stepping on the long dress and pulling it down in the front.  So then I have to re-situate my layers again.

Whenever new people come in the room, we all have to get up.  If it's a woman entering, I have to greet her with a kiss (and play the kiss-guessing game I referred to in my last post), and if it's a man, I just stand until he's seated.

I'm trying to think now (because I can't remember), if the men stand up if it's only a woman entering.

I'm not sure, but I doubt it.

Either way, I got up and down multiple times in most of the houses on this particular day, and I know for a fact...This is NOT my Favorite Outfit!

even though she's pretty stinkin' cute in it...

He Crosses Barriers

With one house down, we headed out down the street. 

We knew this holiday was a great time to meet people, get in their homes, and begin relationships with them.  We wanted to take advantage of it while we could.
House number 2 invited us in as we passed by. 

The family that I saw at the gate was familiar, because they live directly across the street from me, so I was a little baffled as to their presence here, down the street. 

I just so happened, that the owner of this house was the brother of the man that lives across the street from me, and they live four houses from each other.

We walked into a well-lit courtyard with high walls that had vines growing up everywhere.  It was really pretty.  They had about 15 plastic chairs set in a semi-circle, so most of the adults sat down, while the kids stood.  We were immediately offered individually wrapped chocolates and sodas. 

This family, in particular, is on my heart because I see them around a lot, and their facial features show the signs of inter-family marriage over a long period of time.  It is such a wide-spread problem here, but I understand their desire to want to continue to marry within their tribe and family. 

I declined chocolates and soda, which was a good thing, because within 7-8 minutes of sitting down, we were saying goodbye and kissing the same cheeks we had just greeted minutes ago.  Most of the kids took the chocolates, but thankfully, declined sodas as well.

Did I mention that we were two American families traveling together?  Eleven of us total!!  We really make an entrance and can occupy a space pretty quickly. 

Greetings go something like this:  the men greet each other with a handshake (or a kiss, if they're lucky :), and the women greet each woman with a series of kisses.  I never know whether it's going to be 2, 3, or 4, so it's a constant guessing game in which I'm trying to read signs and signals.

Sometimes I go for more, when they want less, or they go for more than I'm ready for.

Awkward!

The third house we visited had some dear ladies that I had met through Jennifer*.  They are married to brothers, each have children, are so beautiful,  and they live together, along with some other family members in one house.

We walked in (men, women, and children) into a large sitting area.  There was a sectional couch around all the walls, seating for over 30 people. 

Chocolates were served.  Sodas were served.

Then, at the door leading into a smaller sitting room, a crouched figure appeared.

I think someone was going to offer this woman a seat by the door, but when that didn't happen quickly enough, she shuffled across the room to sit on the other side.

She was bent in half, pretty aged, and it obviously hurt for her to move.

Wouldn't you know it, about 5 minutes after she sat down, a large group of mostly men came into the courtyard. 

That means it was time for all the ladies to leave.

All the females (who had been sitting on one wall together, except for the older lady) got up silently, and we moved into another sitting room off the main one.

The crouched lady brought up the rear, and she was offered a small chair in the corner, while the rest of us took our places on rugs around the room.

We continued our visit from the front room.

They older lady was complaining about her foot hurting (as much as I could make out), and she was telling another woman who was not really listening or interested.

When the men decided it was time to go, they sent Jennifer's* 8-year old to tell us.  Before we left, the ladies of the house wanted to take a picture with us. 

NOTE: I have hidden their beautiful faces because some people do shameful things with a face and a photo shop program.  I've heard it can result in the woman (who has done nothing wrong) being kicked out of her family or worse because of the shame a falsified picture can cause.

I was still gathering up Keira's things to leave, when I noticed the older lady's complaints getting louder, with still no one paying attention.

I walked over to her, put my hand on her shoulder, and I prayed for her (in English) in His name.

When I finished, she was silent, smiling, and peaceful.

Isn't it wonderful that He crosses language and cultural barriers? 

Christmas in July

I'll bet you thought the end of Ramazan would never come...on my blog, anyway.


After Ramazan, they had a party!

A three-day party to be exact.

And July 6th was day one.

I'll be honest.  I was a little nervous about that first day.

I asked several people what to expect, and I got different answers from everyone.

We were ready, but we didn't know what for.

On the 5th, Doug cleaned our porch and picked up all the trash from the street in front of our house (which every kid in the neighborhood uses as a trash can).

We bought individually wrapped chocolates and some mixed nuts.  

We vacuumed, dusted, hid messes you don't want people to see, etc.

And then we got ready for bed.

Sleep didn't happen.

There were assorted fireworks in the city, plus bottle rockets and Roman Candles happening right in front of the chicken dukan.

This is the Bottle Rocket crew the following morning, still at it.  I snapped their picture out Kylie's window.

They all belong to the extended family of our landlord.


Actually, the fireworks were being aimed (not on purpose, I think) in the direction of our house and the electrical wires that run in front of it.  Smart, huh?

We set our alarms early.  We were told Doug needed to be at our gate, with doors open, at 7am with "the chocolates," and the girls needed to be in their cultural clothing with hair done ready to go at 8am.



I don't know who makes up these times, but we tried our best.

Sure enough, I looked at the window at 7:20, and Doug had just served chocolates to a bunch of men.



The men and boys walk around after prayers.  I don't know who decides who stays at home with chocolates and who walks around, but we did the chocolates.

If children walk around, they are given chocolates AND money.

At 7:30, Doug came to get me to tell me there were some women there to greet me.

It was two sweet ladies from the other side of the Chicken dukan.  We told each other how beautiful we looked, kissed cheeks four times, did all the holiday greetings, and they said to come by later.

See?  So that's the deal.

Day One is a big visitation day.  From 8am to Noon, you go door-to-door visiting your neighbors.

Whole families visiting whole families.

After that is lunch and family time.

This will be the first time Doug and I go visiting together.  I'm usually in the home with only women.

Question:  If we're all visiting door-to-door, who's at home?  (It's questions like these that were driving me crazy.)

Well, 8 o'clock wasn't working for my neighbor Jasmine*.  She sent her daughter over at 7:30 to get us.

Here's some of us.

We went into her sitting room.  It was the first time I'd ever been in a room with her husband.  I've seen him at the vegetable dukan they own, but he's never spoken to me.

There was a lot of silence because our language is so limited.

I went in the kitchen to help Jasmine* serve...homemade baklava!

 And nuts...and orange juice...and water...and Pepsi.

I felt comfortable helping Jasmine*, which I would only do in the home of a good friend.  Usually, you just sit and wait to be served.  But after our family came, her daughter-in-laws parents and brothers came in to join us, so I served everyone.  I also texted the American friends with language (Jennifer*, her husband, and her three kids) we were going to walk around with, and they came over.

Jasmine* had told our girls and Jennifer's* girls to go upstairs to visit her 17-year old twins who were still getting ready.

The make-up application took forever!  They stayed upstairs with the twins until it was time to leave.  The way we knew it was time to leave was because more people were coming in.

The good news is that we had a good conversation with the other family that had come in (the family of the daughter-in-law).  On the TV was the live stream of what was happening in Mecca.  As we watched several hundred people march in circles around the Kaaba (the black building in Mecca that followers of Islam face when they pray).  We asked why they were marching around it.  Why there weren't a lot of people there on this special day (compared to the hoards of crowds we've seen before), and we had a small amount of time to say small Truths to them before we leave.  

Any seed planted is better than no seed at all.

First house down.