Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Availability ends January 4th

The other night I was lying in a comfortable king size bed in my mother's comfortable air conditioned house watching cable with remote in my hand at 11:30pm. I was watching a movie from the 80's and determined to finish it before I fell asleep.

On one commercial break, I wasn't really paying attention, but I looked up at the last minute to see the end of a truck commercial. All I saw, besides the back view of a truck was the words at the bottom of the screen, "Availability ends January 4th."

Satan really hit me with that. I leave for Africa on January 4th, and all of a sudden, everything I already knew became the only thing I could think about. In a couple of weeks I would have no air condition, no comfy bed, and certainly no cable in a comfy house. I would have to explain to my children that sleeping under a mosquito net every night wasn't going to be an option but a necessity.

After a few minutes of heart-racing thoughts and a little panic, I remembered my call. In Virginia, that is what we were told to think about at times like this. I just didn't think it would happen before I landed in Uganda.

God quietly repeated what He has said to me last year. "Kathryn, what are you here on Earth for?"

The panic settled, my heart stopped racing, and I realized that this is going to be a constant battle for a while until I realize that I do not deserve comfort. I was never promised air condition. I don't need a plush American life to exist.

Yep, I'll be working on my selfishness awhile.

8 comments:

Faith My Eyes said...

Jan 4th!? UGANDA?! I WANT TO COME TOOO...

It's funny how one minute you can be so completely done with American comforts and the next moment selfishness makes you rail against God's call. I'm excited for Uganda updates :)

-Mr. Daryl

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lisasmith said...

Hey Kathryn! I'm totally trying to catch up with you and am so glad I popped in tonight...Jan. 4 and I will be praying!! All I can say about your experience thus far is "WOW!"

God is going to take you on an amazing journey and I can't wait to hear about it and pray you through it.

Megan said...

What an exciting way to spend your birthday!! It's a new chapter in life, and a very exciting one at that. I'm so proud of you, and your selflessness challenges me all the time. Praise the Lord! Praying for you all..

Courtney said...

I am so impressed with you knowing your purpose...God is truly going to use you in Uganda. The comforts we all get used to really are never an issue when you lose them, they are just replaced with a new way of doing things...Someone told me recently that change is not always a bad thing and it really stuck. I am praying for you and your family and I can't wait to hear how God uses you! Love ya, Courtney

Erin Wilkins said...

Thanks for reminding me I don't deserve comfort. That is something I really needed to hear right now. You never stop blessing me!

Anonymous said...

Kathryn, I haven't met you, but linked to this blog from our friends the Shelton's in Uganda. My husband and I have served in Uganda for the last 12 years as volunteers at the Seminary in Jinja. I will be praying for you as you begin this leg of the journey and adventure that God has prepared for you and your family. May you be strong and of good courage, comforted and filled with His peace each step of the way. Especially during these last days I pray that every detail that needs to be taken care of will come together for you. I pray for your travel and physical strength and health. May you love the people of Uganda as much as we do. I know that they will love you. In Christ Sandra (and John Karl) Davis

mary beth said...

Happy birthday Kathryn; I will be praying for you during your 24 hr. journey. It will be a birth of a new kind, in a way; the start of a whole new day to day existence, a total reliance for his comfort when what we have thought of as comfort is not longer the "norm". You are covered in prayer so that when you have more moments of panic like the other night, we have your back in Christ Jesus. love you!