The other night I was lying in a comfortable king size bed in my mother's comfortable air conditioned house watching cable with remote in my hand at 11:30pm. I was watching a movie from the 80's and determined to finish it before I fell asleep.
On one commercial break, I wasn't really paying attention, but I looked up at the last minute to see the end of a truck commercial. All I saw, besides the back view of a truck was the words at the bottom of the screen, "Availability ends January 4th."
Satan really hit me with that. I leave for Africa on January 4th, and all of a sudden, everything I already knew became the only thing I could think about. In a couple of weeks I would have no air condition, no comfy bed, and certainly no cable in a comfy house. I would have to explain to my children that sleeping under a mosquito net every night wasn't going to be an option but a necessity.
After a few minutes of heart-racing thoughts and a little panic, I remembered my call. In Virginia, that is what we were told to think about at times like this. I just didn't think it would happen before I landed in Uganda.
God quietly repeated what He has said to me last year. "Kathryn, what are you here on Earth for?"
The panic settled, my heart stopped racing, and I realized that this is going to be a constant battle for a while until I realize that I do not deserve comfort. I was never promised air condition. I don't need a plush American life to exist.
Yep, I'll be working on my selfishness awhile.