Prep for Home Stay, May 13

Before I tell you about our prep for home stay, I realized I forgot to tell you about the caterpillars. Yes, these two baskets are filled with different kinds of caterpillars, a treat in Zambia. I had them on two different occasions, but they were not my favorite. They are dried and then re-hydrated and cooked again. They didn't have much flavor to me, and I had to seriously wash them down.

We returned from town late. We had to get our visas extended to go to Victoria Falls, and it took quite some time for the paper work to be completed.

Back at camp, we started our "home stay prep" talk. It was close to 5 or after when we finished, and we only finished then because of my Lusaka partner, Barb.

We were talking about fears, and Barb said, "I have a fear I won't get a shower tonight if you keep talking." It was all over after that. Everyone was laughing so hard, we were dismissed.

I ran to do some packing in the daylight since I knew the showers would be packed out. Finally, Kylie and I went to the showers around 5:40. We leave our two buckets of water in the sun all day, covered with a plastic sack, so that the sun can heat up the water enough to make it bearable to shower.

Some people were smart (and less lazy) and heated their water over a fire, but I didn't have the energy to do that for all the people I was assisting in the shower. Karis and Caleb went "without" tonight.

Kylie and I were late back to dinner, which was fine except Karis ran to me saying she needed to go to the bathroom. I didn't have toilet paper (I should always have toilet paper on me, but I didn't), so I had to go to my tent and get some, and THEN I remembered I had left my dirty shirt in the shower.

I was so tired that I found myself crying as I walked back to the shower, AND I realized how selfish I am. I just want it to be "me" all the time. How can I serve others for Jesus if I can't even serve my family? How can God use me if I only think about myself? I can't and He can't.

African women do it ALL, and they don't sit around and cry.

Many women before me have done 40/40 with smaller kids and they survived.

Then, in my selfish mode, I started thinking, "Where am I going to 'get away' during the next three days at home stay? Where does an African introvert re-charge? Are there such things as African introverts? Or does their sense of community cause them all to grow up needing each other and never wanting to be alone?"

So basically, I said I would reach the end of myself at bush camp, and I did. Not because bush camp was awful, but it took everything I had and there was nothing left to rely on except for God.